i am a pillock

[deathboy]

While going through a break-up that is, at times, very emotionally intense, might I offer the following advice:

As you clean out the garage, to ease the moving to separate houses, do not - that is, do NOT:

* Rifle through old bags full of letters and such

* Recognise your ex-partner's handwriting on a page that turns out to be a love letter from her from the first year of your relationship, some 14 years ago, and read it.

* Recognise your own hand-writing on a letter that you never sent her after you both went to different ends of the country while you attended university, written at the height of your adolescent depression, in which you pour your broken wee heart out, and didn't send her because you thought it would drive her away... and read it.

ow Ow OW OW FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

yeah, just pass me that scalpel, willya? no, the rusty one...

AND, before you think I'm getting (more) whiney and sentimental, right, today, we also took car-loads of junk to the local refuse centre and I THREW AWAY A DECADE'S WORTH OF FUCKING PORNOGRAPHY recorded onto black, unmarked VHS tapes*.

So frankly, it's BEEN EMOTIONAL.

Well, actually, we got a really good day's worth of house-clearing done today, and it was relaxed and friendly and I'm glad we did it. But you know.

So, anyway, now I'm going to eat some pizza and shoot some motherfucking super-mutants in Fallout 3.


* If the youth of today still had VHS machines, it would have been customary to dump this pornographic neutron star of filth in the bushes in the local woodland, for later discovery by teenage boys, as is the lore of British men.

Comments

[drcuriosity]

Owfuck indeed.

I favour the scoped magnum, if you've got the ammo to spare.

[deathboy.livejournal.com]

it's a good 'un, but the ammo is quite scarce, innit?

[hamsterhotep.livejournal.com]

I favour a combat shotgun to the face, up close.

Seriously satisfying.

Of course, reducing Talon mercs to ash with a laser rifle has its perks. As does the penis-compensating wonder of the minigun.

[deathboy.livejournal.com]

That's my usual choice, particularly with the Bloody Mess perk.

[hamsterhotep.livejournal.com]

Not taken Bloody Mess yet. How silly is it?

[deathboy.livejournal.com]

It's not COMPLETELY retarded, but instead of the odd limb flying off, you often get total torso-explosion, limbs and gore everywhere. It actually makes searching the corpses ... messier... but it's quite gratifying.

[deathboy.livejournal.com]

It was only UK satellite Owl Porn, though, so you don't get to see them open their beaks.

[illdrinn.livejournal.com]

Oh god yes, I have totally had that moment. In the midst of sorting through a box of emotional items crying into the box one of my friends led me away into the car and finished packing the room for me.

Sympathies doll.

[redcountess]

*pint*

[deathboy.livejournal.com]

Thankya, lady :)

[mechanicaljack.livejournal.com]

So, anyway, now I'm going to eat some pizza and shoot some motherfucking super-mutants in Fallout 3.

Rocket Launcher. Loaded with Teddy Bears. No seriously. You can get your ammo back after you're done.

Or a stealth boy and a Deathclaw Gauntlet. Nothing says 'DIE MOTHERFUCKER' like an up close evisceration.

[drcuriosity]

Hmmm. Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your Wasteland Survival Guide.

[mechanicaljack.livejournal.com]

I regret that I cannot fulfill your wish. My wasteland survival guide was also launched from the Rock-it Launcher.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_yungfuktoi_/]

This has very much been my last two weeks as well, mate :(

*squish*

[kest]

ooo, yeah. old love letters - just say no. :(

[mobculture.livejournal.com]

*pat pat* There, there...

If it makes you feel any better then that entry made me laugh quite loudly. I'm not laughing AT your pain, exactly, but something like that.

You definitely need to manly yourself up now - Fallout3 should do the trick! Dead Space on XBox is pretty messed up too.

[deathboy.livejournal.com]

What doesn't make it any better is that I said a tearful "bye, guys... *Sniff*" as I threw them away.

Liz said "*Guys*??"

My reasoning was that the TAPES were guys, you know, like, my buddies for all those years, we had good times and... this... this really isn't sounding any less gay now, is it?

[mobculture.livejournal.com]

Oh, my goodness. It just gets worse, doesn't it?
...
You know, you totally missed a trick, you should have sold them on eBay for a small fortune!

[deathboy.livejournal.com]

I even had some vintage Live TV from '97, with the topless news, followed by the weather read by a midget on a trampoline.

curses.

[mobculture.livejournal.com]

DIES.

That's classic telly right there!

[miss_squiddy]

And you didn't Youtube it first?

[hughe.livejournal.com]

Yeh going through my livejournal backing up I've bumped into a couple of heavily filtered posts.. and posts that never made it out of private

oh woe is me

[untermensch.livejournal.com]

I THREW AWAY A DECADE'S WORTH OF FUCKING PORNOGRAPHY

Call a whaaaaaaaambulance!

Dude, that's why Chasey Lain invented the Internet!

[deathboy.livejournal.com]

I know, that's why I was able to part with it so easily, but still, man... that shit got me through some bleak times.

I'm going to go back to the tip each year and pour a bottle of hand cream over the skip. For my homies.

[untermensch.livejournal.com]

Yep. ONE FOR THE HOMIES! *sniff* :(

[denari.livejournal.com]

yeah I hear ya. Looking through pictures with the little 'un and seeing happy times isn't great either.
It does get easier though.

[deathboy.livejournal.com]

No, definitely. Or holidays and stuff. I suppose that in a way, it's good that he's still young and there are less memories like that, though you certainly build up a whole stack in the first few years.

cheers, feller.

[denari.livejournal.com]

Kids are amazing at adapting to the situation they're put in, so will probably be alright for him. I guess I have the advantage that Skye thinks the situation we're in is normal as that's all she's known.

[megashrike.livejournal.com]

You should have kept it and left a tape at random in various well populated areas of London. People would have picked them up thinking they're some art project and BANG, midgetsexnaziporn.

[gashinryu.livejournal.com]

You twat. I still have a video player...I'd have taken your porn quite happily. :-)

As for the other stuff, you did the right thing. It hurts, sure...but if you want to get through this thing as unscathed as you can, you have to yardstick it. There are times when you're going to have to let the mirror look back at you. I'm pretty sure you already know this though, no?

We should beer sometime.

[deathboy.livejournal.com]

Yep yep and yep, mate, it's been an eternity! give me a yell if you're up for an evening at the watering hole (or, of course, you're always welcome to visit, but enfield's not exactly central, though it's just off the M25) :)

[adonai-hure.livejournal.com]

we also took car-loads of junk to the local refuse centre and I THREW AWAY A DECADE'S WORTH OF FUCKING PORNOGRAPHY recorded onto black, unmarked VHS tapes



On the other hand, you did make the Crack Fox's night...

[ephemera.livejournal.com]

oww. Yeah.

sometimes you just need to shoot the crap out of some pixels, really.