Monsters...

It's late.

I'm tired.

KNACKERED, in fact.

However, it's worth it...

NEW COMIC!

http://www.deathboy.co.uk/comic/

#5, "Monsters of the ID"

- Just so people don't think I just blame *everything* on monsters.

-=Scott=-

I HAVE IT ALL FIGURED OUT.

I've done it.

I've worked it out.

The BIG one.

GOD.

I have totally sussed the fucker.

OK.

Let's look at the apparent facts about the christian god:

* He's supposedly benevolent, but does a WHOLE LOAD of REALLY nasty things
* His laws, and the common interpretation of them are utterly black and white
* You must love him and no-one else
* You must do everything he asks
* If you do a single thing wrong, you are a sinner.
* If you appologise, it's all okay, no matter what terrible thing you did.
* Women are bad, inferior, inherently evil ("Eve's sin")
* Sex is VERY bad. ESPECIALLY if you're not married.
* He's credited with lots of blatantly impossible deeds
* If you're not his friend, you will die. Nastily.

Let's look at the apparent facts about the christian Devil:

* He is to blame for everything bad.
* He is always wrong
* He has the best music (i.e. rock, etc), all of which is terribly terribly wrong.
* The Devil encourages / is in favour of women, sex, lust, etc.
* He doesn't much care what you do, but if he can get you to tag along, he'll try.
* He's the "trickster" that fools the Good people into doing bad things
* His place is where you end up if you do the "bad" things, and / or enjoy yourself.

Think about it.

Look at the points above.

Consider who you have ever seen in your life that exhibits these two sets of traits / opinions about themselves and others.

THINK!

Right:

Drumroll:

MAJOR TRUTH IMMINENT:


...





.......





GOD IS A FAT, UGLY, SPOILT, SIX YEAR OLD BOY.


THE DEVIL IS HIS ANGSTY, TEENAGE, OLDER SISTER.




It all fits.

From the perspective of christianity:

* Girls are bad, in fact, they "smell of wee" (God, chapter 23, verse 12)

* Sex is bad. In fact, not even understood. But the only place it MIGHT happen is in terms of your mom and dad, who are old, and we don't talk about it because it's "gross".

* **I** didn't break Rowanda! It was... uh... uh... THE DEVIL! YEAH! IT WAS HER!

* If you're not MY friend, then your HORRIBLE, and I'm going to TELL ON YOU.

* Those men who kiss other men are DIIIIIRTY! YACK!

* Oh, I'm lovely and brilliant and good, am I? OK. You're my mate, then.

* That loud nasty music is BAD! It's all bangy and I don't understand it. The Spice Girls are MUCH better! I like Sporty Spice. She's pretty! I will marry *her*!

* DO WHAT I WANT *NOW*!

* Yeah! Yeah! I made it in SEVEN Da... NO, I MADE IT IN SIX DAYS! YEAH! YEAH! And it was sooooo easy that I just went to sleep on the last day because I was boooored then, although I watched the Tellytubbies first because they are funny and I like Ditsy.


... I could go on, but I think you see my point.

No wonder the world's fucked.

No wonder the only people who get along with this god are retarded, small minded, hateful, insecure little fucks.

No wonder I'm in the *shit*.

Damn.

Still, I get to bang his sister while listening to Marilyn Manson when we babysit the little shit.

I tell you, I'm a fucking GEEEEENNNNIUS this week!

Next: Cold fusion, time-travel, and the Perfect Ratio of Peanut Butter to Jam.

heh.


-=Scott=-