arbitrary cowmen failure

I just recieved a junk mail that looked like this:



But what's that down the bottom, I wondered...

Why, it's a load of Spam Poetry in a teeny tiny font!

A spam microdot!

( contents of the microdot )

Sticky Keys

I just levered off the CTRL, SHIFT and CAPSLOCK on the left side of my keyboard to clean them, and alleviate the fact they were all sticking down together (doesn't help with coding, ya know?)

And, much to my amusement, the keyboard actually *SMELLS* of vodka and coke.

Laughed my arse off!

Offspring

This article

and

This article

... both concerning children and, moreso, the smug zombie fuckwits that commonely own them.

Anticipating the flaming I will get from child-owners out there, I want to say the following:

1) I am very much planning to have kids in the timeframe of the next five years, genitals permitting

2) I didn't call *you* a smug zombie fuckwit, but if you deny that there are a vast number of such people out there, GOTO 3.

3) If you react in any kind of aggressive/offended/unthinking manner, that'll be the last time you post in this journal.


I like the kids of the friends and family of mine who have 'em, love spending time with them and marvel at every aspect of the little beggars - the kids aren't the problem, but the unwashed millions out there that frankly shouldn't be allowed to own them, but exercise their inalienable right to spawn really should spend more time sucking my dick than spitting out (as Hicks puts it) a million cockroach-like future-criminals.

Well brought-up kids are *wonderful*- shame there's not more of 'em! - but if you think kids are the most important thing in the world, can do no wrong, and that simply doing the third most common thing a human can do other than eating and not dying, makes you somehow better than those of us yet to harvest our pant-fruit, you need to open your eyes and ask if this world really NEEDS more humans in it.

When you ignore my three little rules above, why not use this handy template?

It saves us all time proving me right!

-----

Hey, $insult_based_on_lineage!

You think you know everything, don't you! Well, you can $unpleasant_action_towards to $imaginary_religious_place, you $sexual_act_involving_family.

I have $brood_size $naive_superlative $glowing_synonym_for_children and I $example_of_mundane_human_sacrifice_for_offspring every day, because I'm a $better_person_than_you and $hippy_comment_involving_kids_and_futures!!!

Haaaaaaaaahahahahhahahhahhah

Headline:

Tower Records declares bankruptcy

Now, before you click the link, just have a quick guess, off the top of your head, what reason they will claim for their demise, other than inability to run a business.

Now, click the link, bracing yourself for a suprise level of 0 milliwangs.

Nothing to do with being a shit record store with the usual attitude of piling high with chart-dross at horrendous prices...

BANG! FLASH!

Our landlord, a sculptor who has, apparently, sold work to banks and other Big Korps, is making a lot of light and noise upstairs..

I looked outside and thought he was letting off explosives, as there was a bright flicker, then a large BANG!

Then our other neighbour popped his head out and said you could see that in fact, he was jumping off something, repeatedly, and the flash was going off while he was mid-air!

God knows what he's working on :D

I can't shout loud enough to get his attention to ask if he wants to borrow our trampoline, either...