achoo!

I am sneezing.

Every year, I forget the hell of hayfever then feel a wave of dread as it kicks in and I remember that I'm going to spend three months convulsing, emitting fluids from every orifice and clawing my face to shreds in anguish.

Time for anti-hystamines, I feel.

Dylan Moran

Dylan Moran was very good, by the way. The only mild disappointment was the abruptly quirky ending, so it was over before I realised.

It probably won't be that much of a suprise that in real life, he isn't that dissimilar to Bernard from Black Books, occasional shouting and plenty of surreality, a glass of wine and a cigarette in each hand as he went.

It actually reminded me slightly of early Izzard in some of the mannerisms... you remember Izzard? Weird looking feller with a penchant for nail varnish. Used to be funny.

Anyway, I can happily add Dylan Moran to my list of comedians to see at any available opportunity; extremely funny - catch him if you get the chance!

hehehe

Why you should never put your picture on the internet

and

An amusing take on the badger song :)

[both nicked off snarfy - thanks :)]

(no subject)

Excellent banners available from Zenarchery.com.

"£$%"£%ing bastards

Orange have done precisely Fuck All about my order since yesterday.

AND no orange shop within ten miles has the Treo 600 in stock.

I am becoming suspicious that they know they don't have any in stock, so my order has been paused.

Why does this ALWAYS FUCKING HAPPEN TO ME?

Meme

Oh, dear god, I have only just realised what I've unleashed.

My friends list is entirely full of horse-pun related links... It's even annoyed Welsh of Dave sufficiently that he's done the same as I did when I ejected toys from pram about those cartoon icons from that flash character generator.

Sweet mercy, I just laughed my whole ass off :D

Cheers, y'fuckers :D


That bastard digital_deviant gets some kind of biscuit-related award!

Just a recent few:

Orcses
Pauses
Torsos
Drop and Gimmee twenty
Morses
Unofficially Sanctioned Abuse of Iraqi Prisoners
Chaucers
Forces
Houses
Gorses

... If anyone has anymore, it might be an idea to comment before I get a fucking LJ lynch-mob round my gaff, mind ;)

links

Link roundup (stolen from my friends list and I'm still laughing too much about horse-related puns to collate fully):

Our Lord Hasslehoff to become rapper

What to do when someone hits your vehicle and legs it (maybe)

German couple given interesting fertility tips

Very wise words from Quite Old Chap (81) Kurt Vonnegut

and today, I'm listening to "Lounge Supreme", which, I have to say, is excellent background music for coding too, while not laughing about horses.

Charidee

I hope tomorrow's gig goes OK.

It's at a school, so they can raise money for their music department. Which is cool.

There's gonna be three local bands playing before us, which could be really ace, or shite, hopefully the former.

However, it sounds like there will be barely enough time for us to soundcheck, DEFINITELY not enough time for the other bands to soundcheck (so it'll be line-test-tastic - which never helps a band sound good), through a PA donated by the local music shop. Which again, at least has the *possibility* of being gash. Fingers crossed, it'll be adequate.

What's MORE worrying is that they've apparently sold over 150 tickets.

If it DOES go badly, I'd almost rather play to a few skate kids and a dog on a string, yeah? ;)

I won't be allowed to drink or smoke on stage (or indeed at all).

So I guess I'll have a bottle of *ahem* water on stage, then.

Also, I only really realised when I sat down to think about it, the sheer volume of filth I spout in my songs.

* We Will Destroy - about destroying / killing, etc, obviously. No swearing.
* Amphetamine Zoo - it's about drugs and contains "pissing"
* Slip - chorus has "shit" in it
* Computer #1 - fine, actually. Because thePhil wrote the lyrics
* Lost again "I'll kill your fucking jesus" "I'm not some fucking rhesus" "I only want to fuck you to out evolve your weakness" - so that's swear-a-licious and some religious elements in it, too
* Cheap shot - "Cheap shot - cheap FUCKING shot"
* Decimate - written, quite literally, about schoolkids going on a Columbine-type-spree
* Crawlout - "maybe he'll just come back and skullfuck you in your sleep"

I said to the lads, quite seriously while trying to rationalise my concerns: "oh, it'll be alright, it's not as if I swear all the fucking time. Ah."

Still, apparently, people have been asked and we're OK to do... er... our thing.

God help me, it's going to be emotional.

Scam?

Haven't a clue if this is real or not, but it was interesting enough to merit posting either way.

The upshot is that men have been approaching women in dodgy places, such as carparks / garage forecourts, and asking them if they want to try some cheap perfume which they're selling.

However, the perfume turns out to be ether, with the intention being that someone taking a hearty whiff will be knocked out pronto, then gone over for their valuables / whatever evil types do to an unconscious victim.

Could be utter bollocks, mind, but forewarned is forearmed :)

( full email )

[edit] Apparent hoax! Ta, mrph :)

(no subject)

Bruce Sterling retaliates to Warren Ellis-related prank by mobilising horde of Rampaging Street Poofs:



vs

RFID

Holy heck... (US) passports with RFID?

Quiggins

Sheet - I used to shop there when I was a hippy student at Liverpool Uni...

where are people meant to get bongs from now?

Things you don't necessarily want to hear:

Me: "So, does it make it more likely that you'll split a condom, then?"

My brother: "Nah, it's fine. In fact, I had to put one on just after it was pierced to catch all the blood."

Napster

Napster launches in the UK, charging 1.09 quid per track as opposed to $1 per track in the US.

What is Napster vs What is Napster (scroll down to "Napster Light")

Given prevailing currency values, that's twice as much we'd be charged.

Hilariously, we pay about twice as much for CDs, most of the time.

So in both countries, you'd pay almost as much to burn a CD of Napstered content as to buy the CD in the first place.

Where do I sign?


[noticed on the might LJ of NaD]

R.A.W.

Whoever can scare people enough (produce bio-survival anxiety) can sell them quickly on any verbal map that seems to give them relief, i.e., cure the anxiety.

By frightening people with Hell and then offering them Salvation, the most ignorant or crooked individuals can "sell" a whole system of thought that cannot bear two minutes of rational analysis

And any domesticated primate alpha male, however cruel or crooked, can rally the primate tribe behind him by howling that a rival alpha male is about to lead his gang in an attack on this habitat.

These two mammalian reflexes are known, respectively, as Religion and Patriotism.

Robert Anton Wilson - Prometheus Rising