May. 11th, 2007

hard day

May. 11th, 2007 03:55 pm
deathboy: (Default)
Seems like in every week, there's two Hard Days with the little guy.

Last night, no matter what, he wouldn't settle for long, wouldn't keep a dummy, which usually chills him out if he's otherwise changed and fed, would only sleep on my chest.

Which is ok (and yeah, it is a pretty lovely feeling with him lying there, obviously comforted by you), but when you drift off, being awoken by screeching in your ear can be jarring in the least.

The little guy doesn't, by any means, cry all the time, but I think that I'm realising an unfortunate side-effect to my musical background: you kinda get into the habit of listening to everything, background noise and all (it's actually in a book I have about audio mastering: lessons to make you pay more attention to the sound around you). Fucker is that I can't switch it off. It's why I can't bear having the radio on if it's shite. There's little that I can put on as "background" music, because I listen, well, a lot.

Obviously, this has led to a tiny problem with dealing with Corben crying. Even if I know he's being looked after by Liz and will be chilling out soon, I just can't switch off from this feeling of anxious alertness at hearing him cry. Which is, I'm sure, entirely the appropriate reaction in terms of species advancement - one has to respond to the needs of the nipper.

So yis. Anyways. Last night was many small slivers of sleep, puntuated by the little guy.

Who, at 5am, awoke me screaming in my ear, needing changing. And because I wasn't running on all cylinders, I took off his nappy and while I reached for another, he proceeded to piss all over his inner clothes, outter clothes and growbag.

Fortunately, before I exploded entirely, Liz had woken, cuddled me and sent me to bed. I have no idea how she deals with it. She can handle about 4x the baby-madness I can without getting tetchy.

So today, I feel like a wreck. Haven't done any work, and of all days, we have a babysitter this evening. Which you'd think is excellent (and is, in a way), but now all I can think of is that the only time I get to spend with Liz properly, I just want to sleep, sleep, sleep.

I'm more than a little depressed, to be honest.

Well. There had to be a fucked up baby post some time. 'S not all smiles and gurgling.

Back to the dayjob with a rhino in my head.
deathboy: (Default)
Man. Spontaneously crying while listening to drum 'n bass.

I am well fucking uber today.

Someone please turn off my head.

you guyyys

May. 11th, 2007 05:35 pm
deathboy: (Default)
Thankya to the LJ-extended-family massive :)

'm not feeling like quite such a spack now, 'just going to get a bit more work done, then clock off and have a bash at enjoying my evening :)

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