I wish this was a post on thebeeb

London unveils logo of 2012 Games

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Dear christ, that's ugly. Somewhere between graffiti and, what, a futuristic Kanji font?

Someone got paid to make that. Probably many, many thousands. It's barely recognisable what it's meant to stand for.

If that's what's required to reach today's ADD kids, then count me even further out than I already was.

Corsets and fake hair and new rocks, oh my!

Cybergoths: tell me.

Do you not feel odd wearing a supposedly futuristic fashion that is already most of a decade old?

I seem to remember it all being a lot of fun for (as fashion fads go) a long, hot, druggy summer around 2000 or thereabouts. I am guilty of having kept my cyberdog tops in service longer than was appropriate, but they've been being transferred, one by one, into the "guess I can't wear this anymore" drawer for years now, until I have a vest and a long-sleeve that I remain fond of.

Now, the trad goths make no bones about looking to the past, loving the nostalgia, idolising times gone by. They are meant to be stuck in time, some bubble of 80s, snakebite, cheap speed and truly massive hair. That's ok. That's What They Do.

I was just wondering; if the cyber fashion is meant to be futuristic, lights and armour panels, metal and plastic, man and machine, the sci-fi aesthetic, how come:

a) You all look exactly the fucking same?

and

b) You have done for the last five years?

Rave (you know, that good electronic drug dance music that you nicked the glowsticks from) had its silly fashions, but at least in the UK, the fucking SCENE (let alone the fashions) didn't drag on as long as this god-awful German-Complaining-Over-A-Trance-Track-While-We-Solemnly-Vogue-Like-Robots tosh seems to be managing to. I blame Europe.

Before I leave you, I feel that I should raise something that's irked me for many years: Fake Hair.

You look like twats. All of you, and I mean ALL of you, you look like twats. Oh, but I've got these really unique double-twist falls with a... NO, YOU LOOK *EXACTLY* LIKE THE TWAT NEXT TO YOU. You don't look interesting, young, attractive, vibrant, alternative, or, well, good. You look, as I think I may have pointed out: like twats. Particularly when there is about a thousand of you all wearing the same shit fashion that should have blipped and died.

I've heard it explained by one person that they can't get away with KERAZY!!! hair in their dayjob, but they can put their cyber-fall-lock-piece-fucking-WHATEVER-you-call-them in, and suddenly BAM! They're alternative!

Well, sorry, sonny, but if you work admin in the city and you don't dare bleach your hair and turn up with nail-varnish once in a while because you might lose your job, I totally respect that, but you know what? You ain't that fucking much of a rebel, are you?

It has always bugged me immensely that a culture that prides itself on its uniqueness scrambles and trips over itself to spend good money on a bag of coloured fucking wool to make itself massively more homogeneous.

Right, I feel better now.

Though I notice that you all still look like twats. Please look into this.

Dear london

Dear London.

I made your logo better.



You're welcome.