Cunt Writes for Guardian Non-shocker.

Look at this bollocks review of the week's most popular 'viral'* videos:

4 Boston Dynamics Big Dog (new video March 2008)
Not very interesting performance art in need of a crisp edit feature BigDog robot (in reality a black clad update of the old pantomime horse).

5 ABC3D
A brilliantly innovative pop up book of the alphabet destined for coffee tables everywhere. Due October 2008 but you can see it here now.

So, wait, a fucking MASSIVE ROBOT DOG-THING that runs around with leg movements that make your spine tingle (when it slips on ice / is pushed from the side) and represents some cutting edge military and academic research, to create something that could, in future, save the lives of troops by negotiating hazardous landscape, carrying supplies... is slagged off in favour of the innovation represented by a POP-UP BOOK?

Of the ALPHABET?

I can tell you, I was on the edge of my seat! My eyes literally could not be torn away from the screen.

I mean, M! That's the fucking letter M made from card that's going to pop-up slightly if you hold it in the right way! Fucking M, man! WHAT NEXT?

FUCK ME, IT'S THE LETTER N, APPEARING IN AN EQUALLY FUCKING TEDIOUS FASHION

I MEAN, IT'S NOT AS IF THIS IS EXACTLY THE SORT OF THING KIDS MAKE AT PRIMARY SCHOOL EVERY DAY, NOW, IS IT?

Did I mention the fucking MASSIVE ROBOT DOG?

That's it, sod your focaccia, I'm going Tory.


* Air-quotes mandatory on this half-baked marketing term