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Wednesday:
Feb. 13th, 2009 10:48 amWoke up about 7 or 8am, thinking "what the fuck??" - then rememebered that back home, it was 12pm, so although it was a bit harsh on Kirsten, it was to be expected that I was quite fully awake at this time.
Kirsten proceeded to be the meanest, most horrible fiancé in the universe, and subjected me to about an hour's barrage of mind-fucking TV in what I can only assume is revenge. After about 20 minutes of batshit-crazy public-access insanity (in which some random, militant black guy explains to the crazy, 80s white guy host how "White people only voted for Barack HUSSAIN Obama out of guilt, and black folk only voted him in because they hate themselves"), I beg for some cartoons, and Kirsten happily obliges by skipping right past Pokemon and digging around the DVR to find a show about some town being torn apart by fundamentalist christians battling against people who believe in evolution. ARGH. MY HEAD.
More begging. For the love of god, I cannot have this stuff in my head when I've just got up. I need cartoons, things that are soft on my mind. I am not a morning person in any time-zone.
Kirsten goes straight past all the cartoons AGAIN and puts on a show in which (more) crazy motherfuckers bring their fucking awful pets to do tricks and be judged by z-list celebrities. We see a Russian woman named Natasha with her two poodles in tutus jumping over each other and batting balloons about.
American TV, it appears, is exclusively the domain of insane motherfuckers. It concerns me that she actually DVRs this stuff. When I was a student, we just had cartoons, MST3k and porn.
After a significant amount of weeping and pleading on my part, Kirsten softens and attempts to find Pokemon for me. It has, of course, finished now. She puts Batman on for about 30 seconds... I'm OK with this... then she starts looking for more shit to fuck my head up with. It becomes time to retaliate with a brutal tickling, until a cease-fire is achieved.
We manage to get up, to go into town, jump in the car, drive for about ten minutes and POW, the car cuts out in the middle of the road! This happens a few times, and Kirsten nurses it round the corner to a conveniently located parking structure, at which point, we realise that we have both managed to leave our phones at home.
Fortunately, we're near where Kirsten works, so we pop in and call in a tow and get the car dragged off for an expensive trip to the garage, then we grab some bits and pieces I needed to make my laptop work(as it's proven impossible to buy a UK -> US plug adaptor in the US and the one I ordered in the UK failed to arrive) and some food, then head home on the bus.
Kirsten informs me that you can't just buy US plugs to put on leads because "Who even does that?" - "English people", I tell her, and ask "What, so you people can't even change your own fucking plugs?" "When was the last time you needed to change a plug, or you bought something without a plug?" I tell her that at least our plugs are fused and don't set our houses on fire, in an attempt to cover for the fact that I can't remember the last time that I needed to change a plug. She says that their power strips and house mains supplies are fused, and asks me the last time I heard of a house setting on fire because of a shitty plug. I realise that my perception that this happens regularly in America is derived from an episode of the Simpsons. So it's clearly true.
Anyways, I had bought a random cable to splice with my laptop power brick. I was all ready to show how manly and technologically advanced we are in Blighty. When we get home, I discover that half of Kirsten's laptop power cord was the right type to snap into my adaptor all along, so actually, I didn't need a damned thing. (the adaptor works on US voltage just fine) Hurray!
Did some work in the daytime (we're both working on and off this week, neither could afford the week off), then concluded the day by going out for food and boozes again, in which a badly-chosen and randomly full bar (on a wednesday!) led to us waiting, drinkless for a table for 40 mins. We all blamed Drew for choosing this place, Kirsten bullied the bouncer into refunding my $2 cover (thus making me look amazingly cheap!), and we stomped off to find that apparently, all other bars in Michigan were pretty much empty. Picked one, and drank!
I'm getting a bit backlogged with writing this up, but I want to remember what I did as although we're not doing anything mindblowing, I'm having a really nice time :)
Kirsten proceeded to be the meanest, most horrible fiancé in the universe, and subjected me to about an hour's barrage of mind-fucking TV in what I can only assume is revenge. After about 20 minutes of batshit-crazy public-access insanity (in which some random, militant black guy explains to the crazy, 80s white guy host how "White people only voted for Barack HUSSAIN Obama out of guilt, and black folk only voted him in because they hate themselves"), I beg for some cartoons, and Kirsten happily obliges by skipping right past Pokemon and digging around the DVR to find a show about some town being torn apart by fundamentalist christians battling against people who believe in evolution. ARGH. MY HEAD.
More begging. For the love of god, I cannot have this stuff in my head when I've just got up. I need cartoons, things that are soft on my mind. I am not a morning person in any time-zone.
Kirsten goes straight past all the cartoons AGAIN and puts on a show in which (more) crazy motherfuckers bring their fucking awful pets to do tricks and be judged by z-list celebrities. We see a Russian woman named Natasha with her two poodles in tutus jumping over each other and batting balloons about.
American TV, it appears, is exclusively the domain of insane motherfuckers. It concerns me that she actually DVRs this stuff. When I was a student, we just had cartoons, MST3k and porn.
After a significant amount of weeping and pleading on my part, Kirsten softens and attempts to find Pokemon for me. It has, of course, finished now. She puts Batman on for about 30 seconds... I'm OK with this... then she starts looking for more shit to fuck my head up with. It becomes time to retaliate with a brutal tickling, until a cease-fire is achieved.
We manage to get up, to go into town, jump in the car, drive for about ten minutes and POW, the car cuts out in the middle of the road! This happens a few times, and Kirsten nurses it round the corner to a conveniently located parking structure, at which point, we realise that we have both managed to leave our phones at home.
Fortunately, we're near where Kirsten works, so we pop in and call in a tow and get the car dragged off for an expensive trip to the garage, then we grab some bits and pieces I needed to make my laptop work(as it's proven impossible to buy a UK -> US plug adaptor in the US and the one I ordered in the UK failed to arrive) and some food, then head home on the bus.
Kirsten informs me that you can't just buy US plugs to put on leads because "Who even does that?" - "English people", I tell her, and ask "What, so you people can't even change your own fucking plugs?" "When was the last time you needed to change a plug, or you bought something without a plug?" I tell her that at least our plugs are fused and don't set our houses on fire, in an attempt to cover for the fact that I can't remember the last time that I needed to change a plug. She says that their power strips and house mains supplies are fused, and asks me the last time I heard of a house setting on fire because of a shitty plug. I realise that my perception that this happens regularly in America is derived from an episode of the Simpsons. So it's clearly true.
Anyways, I had bought a random cable to splice with my laptop power brick. I was all ready to show how manly and technologically advanced we are in Blighty. When we get home, I discover that half of Kirsten's laptop power cord was the right type to snap into my adaptor all along, so actually, I didn't need a damned thing. (the adaptor works on US voltage just fine) Hurray!
Did some work in the daytime (we're both working on and off this week, neither could afford the week off), then concluded the day by going out for food and boozes again, in which a badly-chosen and randomly full bar (on a wednesday!) led to us waiting, drinkless for a table for 40 mins. We all blamed Drew for choosing this place, Kirsten bullied the bouncer into refunding my $2 cover (thus making me look amazingly cheap!), and we stomped off to find that apparently, all other bars in Michigan were pretty much empty. Picked one, and drank!
I'm getting a bit backlogged with writing this up, but I want to remember what I did as although we're not doing anything mindblowing, I'm having a really nice time :)
