lonely

[deathboy]

lonely is listening to your own little "jazz part" in a track

being drunk and wishing you could go and wake up your lover

I want to go and shake liz and scream how I love her

I want drag her, sleepy, onto the roof, to have her share the stark fucking beauty I find in sitting on the roof of a warehouse, 'cross the busted skyline, with the gasometer in the distance, the freakish window gardens on the neighbouring eves.

I want to wake liz up. I know I'm drunk. I just think, maybe, she should see this side of me.

The most transient of friends will put up with a trashed up mate.

I want the girl I want to make kids with be ok with me waking her up to play her a track and drag her on the roof.


#


there's no such thing as home

and noone remembers you

you can't go back, and your shit has gone

there's nothing to return to

---

you never wanted me anyway

you made it clear --- anyway

I'm fine without you, anyway

I'm fine without you.


---






you know what?





I'm gonna wake her up.

I'm gonna play her the track.

I'm gonna get her to come on the roof with me.




I know she might not be too happy to begin with.


OK... If she doesn't handle me doing this.... well, there are problems I can't explain.

I'm not a bad man.

She should be ok.

I'm gonna try.

Wish me luck.

Comments

[born-ruined.livejournal.com]

bitter winds
come and wash from my hart
the lonlest of all words
home

[born-ruined.livejournal.com]

but good luck man and if it all goes wrong you can phone me im goign to be up
07800923069

[needler.livejournal.com]

Home is the earth under your feet
the breath in your lungs
the beat of your heart

The only place you can call home is the body
the surroundings are just a bonus
the trick is to be happy in your dwelling

Sometimes a moment is too special to share
sometimes sleep is too deep to wake from
nothing like that is personal, the subconcious is a place we all go but never have a map for!

x