appraisal

[deathboy]

work?

I can do lots of stuff. Give me demands, and I perform.

Contractor?

Liar?

Confidence boy?

Design affiliate?

Systems architect?

Promoter?

Dancing fool?

I am smarter than you. I am qualified in your niche question. I am experienced because I'm a tech kiddy. I need tasks to distract me from my instinct to scream and kill me.

I am smarter than you. and I hate you. and I will do whatever you ask.

I am faster, more broken, more laterally jagged than the people on your staff. So you hire me. And I fix your problem. Physics for a pinball game? Fixed. Multi-loading flash brochure application? No problem. Ringtone for a promotional campaign - OK. Soundtrack for a board meeting - Can Do. Drum and bass for your corporation? Sure. Animation for your ident? Absolutely. Highscore code for your viral? Anytime. 2D game / turnbased / tilebased / topdown / shootemup...

I am your code whore.

I am faster, more broken, more lateraly jagged than your staff.

You're fucked and I can fix it.

Hire me.

And I fix your problem.

I'm like some kind of DeathBoy Magic Fucking Bullet.

Fuck, I wish I had some paying music work right now.

You never appreciate the Good Gig until you look back on being able to drink a litre of vodka and smack up some synths, punch out a dreddy bassline and *CLAIM FOR YOUR TIME*.

'best fun gig I ever got - writing music for a nokia board meeting presentation. Not even played out to the public, penguin fodder... but I got to spend the week fuckedup and hilarious. best fucking job ev0r.

Motherfuckers.

Hoperfully, the whole Brody shit is gonna have "break" in it, as well as "fat preacher".

Fuckers.

UNF.