deathboy | (no subject)

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Well, that was quite pleasant.

'Just had some Jehovah's Witnesses round for an hour. Talked about the bible a lot, they were quite content with my contesting about three things in every paragraph of their pamphlet ("What does the Bible really teach us?"), which we got all of 10 pages into as we got derailed so often.

Poor lads seemed terribly pleased that I did in fact invite them in and have a natter. It was all a little bit like the scene in Black Books where Bernard invites the lads in to talk about Jesus (here, about half-way through), actually.

I'm interested to see how they talk about homosexuality, as JWs appear to be really quite against The Gays.

Sneakily recorded an mp3 of us talking, but as they were really quite chilled (I'm sure they will ramp things up in subsequent weeks), it's not actually very entertaining (unless you're a fan of listening to a brummie accent going on about cyclical arguments and a cockney agreeing, then repeating them).

They did try the odd Jedi Mind Trick, like getting me to read a few paragraphs of their pamphlet with them (I assume, the first step to us all reading the bible aloud together)... for my part, I intend to try to get them into drum and bass and playing the Wii.

On the up-side, Corben LOVED having new people and voices discussing things animatedly, and lay there giggling and gurgling and casually shitting himself. For an hour a week of happy baby-time, I may consider converting.

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This is not the sect you are looking for.

If you're looking for a baby pleaser, why not try speaking in tongues?

They're the only ones that do home delivery!

You don't have Mormons in your area, then?

Nah. Did back home in the Midlands, though.

They were cast-iron motherfuckers to get rid of, too.

A couple of lads from the Church of Latter Day Saints, "Elders" apparently (I guess they have a high pre-30s mortality rate?!) visited me on a few occasions. The last time I had them assure me that they would give some serious thought to the things I discussed with them. I haven't heard from them since, so I may actually have a couple of converts of my own... Or they finally thought better of ringing my doorbell.

To get Elder status, you have to pay the church a great deal of money (aka tithings).

"and lay there giggling and gurgling and casually shitting himself"

This is why the Church is so popular with pensioners.

Awesome! You should get a video camera set up so you can do a series of them!

Next Week: Deathboy meets the scientologists

Next Week: Deathboy meets the scientologists

Fucking hell ;) I have limits ;)

Come on! YOU CAN DO IT!

I believe in you...

About three years ago I filled out a Scientologist questionnaire. I'm still getting smegging calls from them *daily*. I've had to report the cunts to BT.

Ooh, really? Which office were they from? (I am what passes for an expert and retain my interest in their funny little ways.) Usually they just send letters, unless that particular office is really downstat. (They're right into management by statistics.)

i used to do the personality tests as a cheap date. i called myself Mary Smythe and gave the phone number of a guy who had screwed over a mate of mine. you even got to see a free film! it was ace! nonstop lulz.

Be sure to get yourself a damn good plethora of lawyers first.

Oh, there's much more fun to be had with them than that.

Ohyes! I want to see that!

Yes. I'm actually rather disappointed the Scientologists don't really do door-to-door, or I'd have dropped them a line in Scott's name.

Scott: L. Ron Hubbard had much wisdom on the subject of child raising. Go look it up.

I used to work with a "witness" (this is how she described herself when she told me on a work's night out that she "understood what it was like to be different cause I am a witness". I asked her bluntly, "to a crime?") and she was really sweet actually but very ignorant of the real world as she grew up in it all.

She told me that the church would actually be ok with it but when I went home that evening from work, my mum told me that is what they tell you to join and they would then try to "convert" me and "reform" me in some way.

That creeped me out.

liz's best mate's bird was raise JW and practically ex-communicated from her family for being openly gay. the stance seems to be minimal-tolerance; if you're gay, you're expected to hide it, fight it and absolutely not practice it.

more extreme anecdotes I've heard say that many JWs will, if faced with open homosexuality, shut you right out quickly in literal fear that if they didn't, they themselves would be cut-off.

which always gives me a way to get them to stop coming round if it gets annoying. pop over for a well-timed snog?

That would be quite funny if not a bit gratuitous. Mind, popping over would have been timed with precious and lots of notice! :-p

Ah Scott.
I haven't laughed so much at a post in many many months.

I think you should try and get them drinking a little or perhaps other things!
Ruin the pair of them. Perhaps they will send more to find out what happened to the first two they sent. And so on...

You could single handedly wipe them all out.

One thing though. If any of those fuckers turn up with a child in tow that is blatantly not theirs please call the cops. There are so many reported cases of kiddie fiddling amongst these groups it's really very concerning.

Hope you found the dummy in the end.

Funnily enough, I did a few sessions of that recently with the local mormons - had some interesting discussions, some cyclical arguments, and generally re-affirmed my faith in the non-existence of deities. It was awesome.

generally re-affirmed my faith in the non-existence of deities

Well that's an outright slap in their face. Don't forget, Mormons believe that if they reach the pinicale of their faith, when they die, they travel to other worlds and become god-like beings to spread the word of god to the pagan alien cultures.

And no, I'm not confusing that with Scientology. I was married to a Mormon for a short while and he had a lot of stories about his family's faith. The only good thing about him, he was a recovering Mormon that found his spiritual peace in Druidism.

Yes, Druidism.

Yeah - they were pretty bummed out when they realised I wasn't going to turn.

I said, straight out (as I do to all religious folks that get their doorstep on) that I'm a staunch atheist. I'm sure they still consider it a worthwhile investment of time to see if that's so, and as long as it stays friendly and interesting, they're welcome to have a crack, but I suspect there'll be a point where they realise they'd be using their time more efficiently talking to someone else. until then, fun!

That's exactly the kind of arrangement we had. Also, at the end of the first session, I fired up the projector and the Wii, and they were amazed - I guess they hadn't seen any new tech for a while, or something. They brought a DVD to one of the sessions, just so we (they) could watch it on the projector.

Have fun, anyway - it's good to discuss religeon/spirituality with people who have different views every so often.

aye, I'm basically just finding that what I read does nothing for me (and mostly refreshes my existing state), but we both managed to chuck a few things in the other wasn't expecting, so it's been worthwhile.

Bum them!

NOT SO PIOUS NOW ARE YOU EH? NOT WITH MY MASSIVE COCK UP YOUR ARSE!

*ahem* I may be a little cranky today :D

A friend of mine adopts Mormons. They're all 18 year old boys who are away from home doing something they'd really rather not, so it is not hard to turn your house into a haven of pizza and movies and the Bible tends to slide a bit.

She and her husband have fun with this, and a collection of photographs in which the Mormons appear to either be freshly killed or begging for their lives at the barrel of a gun. Sometimes it takes a few pizzas to get them to agree to pose, but they always do.

wicked :D

and lay there giggling and gurgling and casually shitting himself

Sounds like half the munters in Islington Green on a Sunday.

you insult my child.

I meant to insult dirty, filthy muntors.

Corben is much cuter :)

so where is the mp3?

Nowhere at the moment. I recorded it in case something interesting happened. as it is, it was a congenial, open, (but not ground-breaking) discussion that pretty much anyone can have if they can be arsed.

If it turns nasty or entertaining, it'll be worth making a point of, but I let 'em in so I could have a discussion and they didn't do anything objectionable (showing up at my door in the first place aside), so it seems an empty shot to post covert recordings of nothing noteworthy.

As much as I am aggressive about my atheist position,

oops, cut off...

As much as I am aggressive about my atheist position, I'd just look like a dick "exposing" some, well, blokes. Give it a while, I'm going to talk to them about a few contentious issues.

ah, gotcha.

carry on, then, and do let us know when you get a sound bite that is shareworthy.

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