(no subject)

[deathboy]

The chairman of the drinks firm, AG Barr, is finally standing down after more than 48 years with the company.

Robin Barr, 71, will formally announce his retirement at the company's AGM.

Mr Barr is one of only two people in the world who knows the secret recipe for the best-selling Irn Bru drink and the two never travel on the same plane.

---

Apart from Irn Bru being awesome, what a load of hogwash.

"The 32 different ingredients are combined in a huge vat, which mixes 8,000 litres at a time."

So, unless 71-year-old Mr Barr personally stirs the ingredients into the vat, pretty much constantly, I reckon there's probably a number of factory workers, plus the people responsible for ordering and transporting the ingredients, plus any accountants that know what the company spends its money, plus the cleaning lady and her cat, tiddles, that could probably take an educated guess as to what goes into Irn Bru.

Comments

[strawberryfrog.livejournal.com]

.. and anyone who cared to invest the time and effort with a good boichemistry lab with a mass spectrometer.

[deathboy.livejournal.com]

I have a boichemistry lab in my pants! ;)

[merlinc.livejournal.com]

I think you can get a lotion to clear that up these days.

[strawberryfrog.livejournal.com]

How big is your Spectrometer?

[s0b.livejournal.com]

Mr Barr takes an iron supplement and then wees in the vat once a month.

It's like homeopathy.

[lis0r.livejournal.com]

ISTR that an analysis of KFC indicated their secret herb and spice blend consisted of flour, MSG, salt, and oil.

[joellevand.livejournal.com]

IIRC, it's flour, salt, and poultry seasoning, liberally fried in oil.

[selectnone.livejournal.com]

If I were Mr Barr, I'd keep staff stirring vats of wanky poison and kitten faces, to throw cleaner's cats like yourself off-track.
Also, the specific quantities may be important.
Also, it's made from GRRRDIRRRS, innit?

[deathboy.livejournal.com]

I'm suggesting that when mixing enormous quantities like that, the proportions involved would become even more evident.

if you were only making a pint, you could miss someone adding a dash of weasel tears, but in mixing hundreds of litres, you might notice the VAN O' TEARS pull up and disgorge itself into the mixture.

[selectnone.livejournal.com]

I'd write "DOG SPUTUM" on the side of the van :D
Then get someone to whisk it clockwise
Then get someone else to whisk it anticlockwise, which would be the actual active ingredient (chanting "HELIX SATANUS" is encouraged at this point, but not strictly necessary)

[pete23.livejournal.com]

GIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRS.

Re: I'm assuming you meant kitten faeces...

[selectnone.livejournal.com]

Nope, I meant kitten faces; you're welcome :D

[deviantsaint.livejournal.com]

according to wikipedia, he does mix it himself.

"The ingredients in Irn-Bru are a closely guarded secret, and the recipe is known only to Robin Barr, the Chairman, and one unnamed person (who are not allowed to travel on the same plane together). A copy of the recipe is kept in a bank vault in Scotland. Robin Barr himself mixes the essences of the drink in a sealed room at their headquarters in Cumbernauld once a month. Once Robin Barr steps down as Chairman, he will continue to be the company mixer, but will eventually pass on the recipe to his daughter (and company secretary) Julie.[2]"

[deathboy.livejournal.com]

oh!

I'm slightly incredulous, but fair play!

[wehmuth.livejournal.com]

So, because it's in Wikipedia it must be true...

And isn't that just a rewording of the article, or, more likely, vice versa?

[darkcryst.livejournal.com]

It is plausable though - it does go into more detail.

If he mixes up the batches (obviously with a machine) and no-one else is there - all they'd get was a big set of liquid/powder to dump into the vats.

Mythbusters verdict: Plausable.

My cousin works there.

[incarnated-joy.livejournal.com]

*looks about frantically* Quickly! Come closer! *leans through the iron bars* the secret to the delicious irn bru recipe is *shtunk-slump*

The Strathclyde Police Dept later reported that the unknown victim was found with an iron girder impaled through her skull, police are appealing for any witnesses to come forward if they witnessed the attack. Or if they happen to know where one of the original irn bru girder bending kids is, this shit looks like his doing.

[adonai-hure.livejournal.com]

[shadowofsummer.livejournal.com]

This really isn't up to your usual epic levels of Hate, Scott. I trust you're just getting started for the day, or something.

Also, I thought it was made from girders? Did advertising lie to me?

[megashrike.livejournal.com]

Only those two people know exactly how many times they need to spaff into the mixture. I reckon 10, no more no less.

[echo-echo.livejournal.com]

I seem to recall a certain drink made by Lee Chaos at Whitby once that may have had similiar properties!

[lordriffington.livejournal.com]

It's sold in Australia sans-caffeine, so what does that say about the mixture?

If only they left the caffeine in, I'd never drink anything else. Hmm...I do recall a friend telling me she knew where to get pure caffeine...

[adonai-hure.livejournal.com]

It gets better, in Scotland there's Irn-Bru 32....an Irn Bru flavoured energy drink. If they sold that here, I'd never drink anything else.

[smarriveurr.livejournal.com]

The company actually imports vast quantities of random substances at different months, and repackages them in new containers so they cannot be traced to their origins. At any moment, there are a dozen giant vats of "Irn Bru Syrup" being mixed, to confuse the workers. Eleven are actually cleverly conceived poisons. When the mixing is done, the twelfth, secretly unpoisoned batch is carefully drained into the gutter, and 2 of the others are mixed and sold as Irn Bru.

[robo-toda.livejournal.com]

I believe it's the wrong colour to be sold in some parts of the world. Also, it contains quinine. Good for your hearing, that one...

[moopet.livejournal.com]

I believe in the instance where an unknown substance is required,the convention is to use tar.

[deathboy.livejournal.com]

tar.gz?

[moopet.livejournal.com]

Only if the juice is from concentrate.

Wait. There's no way I can make a comment that works, I've spent five minutes with my full brain active and that's the best I can manage!