(no subject)

[deathboy]

I'm having a really unstable week, emotionally.

Monday was suicidally depressing, tuesday was actually quite good, wednesday was a rollercoaster of the two, and today, I'm back to suicidal.

Kirsten's still in the US, and knowing it will be a long time between visits is killing me, and Corben is off with his mom and her partner, on holiday somewhere hot for two weeks.

Earlier today, I discovered a sobbing sound coming out just below my nose.

Starting to wonder if I might need mood stabilizers and / or anti-depressants. Probably just the latter, my mania isn't really out of hand or dangerous, it's the down-swings I'm struggling with.

I feel like walking into the street and bellowing I WANT TO BE WITH MY FUCKING WIFE AND CHILD YOU COCK SUCKING CUNTS and beating the next person I see to death with a fucking piece of wood.

Needless to say, this is making the dayjob something of a chore.

Thing is, I'll probably be right as rain again, tomorrow. And so the cycling continues.

I'm not one for mewling about life being unfair, it's just what it is, but some days, it can be unbearable.

Comments

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

About mood stabilizers vs anti-depressants: if your depression is part of a bipolar condition, then SSRIs will do jack shit for it.

You need anti-convulsants/mood stabilizers. If you've got bipolar, even without a noticable manic phase, and you treat it with SSRIs, you're treating the wrong disease and nothing happens.

[wrong1.livejournal.com]

Recetns tuduies suggest that anti-depressants do jack shit generally other than put you into a drugged state which is not in any way relative to levels of depression.

They don't help with depression, they mask it.
Buy that fucking book I recommended a while back if you haven't already.

Saving that, I could rest my Feld in your gob and see if that cheers you?

[deathboy.livejournal.com]

I did, it got misplaced during my move. I'll locate it or rebuy it.

you man-tang.

[wrong1.livejournal.com]

Do so - it's a corker.

I want to be in your mouth though.
Seriously, get some me down you.

Rapid cycling

[angryangeltoo.livejournal.com]

I went through a phase of rapid cycling moods just before a massive crash and for me they do act as a warning that things are getting out of control again.
Alcohol is a depressant and affects your ability to control your mood. Some meds work but different meds work for different people and it can be a pain finding the one that works for you. I find a small dose of Prozac every day works rather well for me but Citraliprim makes me suicidal and if you do go the way of meds remember that all of them can make you feel worse for up to a four week period before they start to actually regulate the amount of serotonin in your body.
Hope it gets better.
xxxxx

[saffrongraphics.livejournal.com]

Sounds like most of my weeks - all over the place emotionally. Doesn't make for harmonious interpersonal relationships, eh!

I'm not bi-polar. I'm just emotional, self-indulgent and lack self-control skills.

Things are not planning to improve. I quite like the little shit that is me.

[murcury.livejournal.com]

Try some flax seed oil pills-Omega-3 and 6. I noticed a marked improvement with my recent bout of similar behaviour.

[sistercarrion.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, and I second this. Also, personally I've found B6 and B12 supplements to be useful too.

[sistercarrion.livejournal.com]

Not much use here, but I do feel ya. It's taken sooo much bloody time to find a med cocktail that for me doesn't blunt creativity. The one I'm on now works pretty well, but I'm with you on the sometimes feeling like too much mental crap to plough through. This is what I want to shout sometimes. Being depressed *is* a fucking physical disorder too. It weighs you down, drains you utterly, everything's through treacle, and just yeah.. you know it, I'm sure.

I only got/get hypomanic, but mood stabilizers.. the right ones? Really did the trick more so than anti-ds.. but then I am still on a mix of 'em. But yeah, SSRI's are a no-no for me, same as for quite a few Bipolar peeps, as it sent me really high, as in nearly hospitalization high. Luckily they figured that one out eventually.

If someone hasn't already mentioned her to you, Kay Redfield Jamison's written a few books about bipolar you may find interesting. I wouldn't label her stuff as 'self help', and I didn't find her patronising like a lot of writers are on the subject. She's a PhD and a psychologist who herself has bipolar.

Also, Crazy Meds ( http://www.crazymeds.us/ ) is a great site for reading up on various med options, and not sugar coating the pros and cons but telling it how it is with 'em. And it's not run by some evil pharm company to lure you to the dark side, which a lot of sites are.

You've probably seen these links and stuff before, so apologies if it comes across as patronising, it's not meant that way. And as much as the thoughts of a passing acquiantance mean on t'interwebs, I'm thinking about you.

If you want to rattle my braincells about this shit sometime, if it helps any, my e-mail is : sister_carrion(at)yahoo(dot)co(dot)uk

And yeah.. apologies for the ramble.. it kinda' got away from me.

[my-window-seat.livejournal.com]

With you in spirit. Am riding the roller coaster as well. No health care options to try out meds, so am relying on stabilizing influences from the people around me, and smoking. My lungs suffer, but it it's a trade-off.

Let the people around you help you keep your head above water. The ones that matter don't mind, and the ones that mind don't matter.

*hug*

[hexadb.livejournal.com]

Fuck medication. You'd be wrong in the head if you didn't feel angry/upset/depressed in that situation.