Code Zombie

There is a reason why all the best (/my best) code is written between the hours of midnight and 4am.

The reason is because if I'm working late, I become not "Supercoder", as I previously thought, running on pure caffeine, sleep dep and hatred of the Foul Code Beast, but instead a far more malign being: Code Zombie.

Code Zombie does not question. Code Zombie does not even think. Code Zombie simply codes.

But, importantly, Code Zombie does not shirk or over-analyse.

And this, it seems, is why I actually get the job done.

I don't try to find the clever, elegant solution. If I look at something and realise "Oh! I wrote this all ass-backwards!", instead of rewriting thousands of lines prettily and sensibly, I think "Yeah, but if I continue to think that way round, there's a one-liner that fixes all those bugs. Neat. Done. Next."

My business partner seems to write almost exclusively as Code Zombie, which means he is better at hitting his deadlines without breaking a sweat, but only if there's not some radical rethink-requiring problem. He ignores the tedium of some of the bigger tasks, he doesn't 'waste' time that I would spend trying to make things modular and Klev0r, he just ploughs on with it.

Which is one reason I wince when I have to read his code, but it does, to be fair, get the job done.

I have a horribly ingrown need to make stuff legible and maintainable, which is often inappropriate for single-person, 1-3 month projects. The trade off for the Pretty Codings isn't worth the time I'd save if I was Teh Hackmeister. My mild-mannered alter-ego that operates in daylight hours tries to write Good Code. Often to little benefit.

Still, I do avert a few big and nasty problems through dilligent planning, so it's not all bad.

I'm sure there's some magical Xtreme Programming solution other than this Jeckle-and-Hyde approach, but tonight I'm just happy that I've solved the next day's problems (to be fair, by working the next day's hours) tonight, and as such can have a drink and chill out and probably not be that efficient tomorrow, but at least do so in the knowledge that I'm ahead of schedule.

Fucking Nora. Whattaday.

ignore me

Who you are - DeathBoy

people are these ugly, twisted things
only after the payoff
what did you bring?

no new face
finds you interesting

what are you worth?
does knowing you
make me something?

conversations never mean a damn
it's a transaction
so get what you can

talking like toy-soldiers,
in a field
but we're removed
and your disapproval
still kills me down


there's a place under a railbridge
walk past every day

it pretends it's not a door
graffiti won't hide it anyway

you can only turn the handle
when you've fallen down

there's only one way out
you can't turn around


put away your feelings
discard your plans
learn to be a human
and not a man

we're dying in your gutters
stealing all your stars
you don't deserve oneanother
you're who you are.

20 Minutes into the Future

THIS IS NETWORK 23! THE NETWORK THAT MEANS BUSINESS, TRANSMITTING LIVE, TO THE WORLD, EDDISON CARTER, ON THE "WHAT I WANT TO KNOW" SHOW:

This is Eddison Carter - Asking the questions YOU want answered! Right now, what I wanna know is this: Just what happened in appartment 42 in the last 60 minutes?

What I wanna know is who is suppressing the story? What is it somebody doesn't want us to know?

Come with me, live and right now - let's get some answers!

>> REBUS FILESx01

>LIST:

__REBUS01:_DISENCHANTMENT
__REBUS02:_I_KNOW
__REBUS03:_BLANKETS_AND_PILLOWS
__REBUS04:_WHAT_IF
__REBUS05:_IN_THE_SHADOWS
__REBUS06:_WHO_YOU_ARE

>EOL.


This is the future. People translated as data.

DUPECODE FOLLOWS:::1/
---------------------

<a href="http://deathboy.livejournal.com/832866.html"><b>BIGTIME TV:: REBUS TAPE RELEASED - PRIORITY*1*</b></a>

real update

A bit of a random update, but while I'm listening to BBC comedy and think about it:

over a month using Real Alternative as both in and out-of-browser replacement for Real Player and the only side-effect I've noticed is that Real Player automatically pauses the BBC browser plugin when it starts, but I have to do that manually with Media Player Classic, playing through Real Alternative.

Or, if I'm using Flash Mute with 'kill all browser sound' activated ... I don't!

I can definitely recommend it as a replacement for Real Player, with the excellent benefit of making most of your existing playback software (MPC, Winamp, etc) understand Real files with no fuss.

I'm posting this, btw, because sometimes I leap onto some new gizmo and espouse it on LJ, only to realise some weeks later that it has a major drawback. In this case, it doesn't appear to. :)

BAD dvd club, NAUGHTY dvd club, IN YOUR BED

Aw, man.

'Got a new DVD from SofaCinema today. My top 20 of my rental list is chock-full of obscure English comedy DVDs, any of which I would have been delighted to receive on a day where I have a hangover (comedy being my panacea).

What do I get?

Elektra.

I ordered that for a bet.

Shit.

Is it even worth DiVXing?

How technology transfigures

Go to the video shop, the most popular titles are gone.

Go to torrentspy.com, the most popular titles get to you quicker.

Although baby jesus does cry, as a result.

Win / win situation!

(no subject)

The "Unfair Racial Cliché Alert"

- Lists movies and directors according to whether or not they obey the Hollywood law that all blacks / ethnic minorities will die by the end of the film (most do).

I love the last line:

It is rumored that L.L. Cool J has a clause in his contracts stating that his character won't die in a Horror/ Thriller/ Monster movie. When asked directly in an interview about that rumor, he laughed and neither confirmed or denied it.

Seeing LL not die in Deep Blue Sea was fantastic, particularly when he came out with the line "Aw, man, I'm done! Brothers never survive these things!"

I think I may go on an LL-a-thon, now, to confirm or deny his filmic immortality.

big gay men

Courtesy of afm13:



I can't stop watching! I need to see them get it on!

there is something wrong with my mind.

Cubrius.

I swear to god, I cannot solve the first non-tutorial level ("training 1").

Though I just finished the 1st level on the emerald pack with no problems.

What the HELL is wrong with me?

gillen, you're fucking dead, man. DEAD. DO YOU HEAR ME??

update: solved it. it turns out that level is stupidly more difficult than many of the ones that follow it. shabby level design :P

credit cards

Customer Services:

Barclays 0 : Mint 1

Barclays, the cockers, took 12 minutes to tell me they can't extend my paltry £500 overdraft (I'm going on holiday juuuuust before fucking payday), no explanation, just "You're at your maximum".

The guy at Mint, who I called to ask about withdrawing cash, etc, gave me a full breakdown on the charges of doing so abroad:

2.25% currency conversion fee + 2.25% some other arbitrary fee,

then a whopping 19% interest rate on the figure until you pay it off.

And, the lovely man explained to me that the most expensive transactions you've made are the ones that are paid off last. So if you're not the kind to pay off your credit card in full each month, you'll pay that 19% on the money you took out until you clear the whole balance. Which, for me, would be practically forever, I rarely pay my card off fully, despite good intentions.

I'm sure the guy wasn't meant to explain that to me, he said it'd happened to him and had really pissed him off.

He also then noticed that my interest free period was ending in three weeks (I'd totally forgotten, thought I had months left) and told me the date - completely unasked, bless him.

So, good skills for proving that not all bank helpdesk staff are tossers.

Can anyone recommend a good new credit card for me to jump to for my next 0% stint? :)