the hard, or soft option?

sometimes, you're better off dead
there's a gun in your hand and it's pointing at your head
you think you're mad
too unstable
kicking in chairs and knocking down tables
in a restaurant
in a west end town
call the police, there's a madman around
running down
underground
to a dive bar
in a west end town

[west end girls - deathboy's divide 22 version]

Things That We Learn Today

#6239729: Do not jokingly ask dangermonkey for pictures of his balls.

Because his answer will be "email or MMS?"

Also, they are slightly pendulous, it seems.

zombie menace

If I had a private zombie army*, right, my main fear (in this age of telecommunications) would be that their lack of speed would be a serious impediment to them. By the time the first person was bitten, 20 people would have called their mates. Hell, some of them would have filmed it and sent pictures. In England, there's be kids happy-slapping them.

Before you had chance to get a decent number of the population turned, everyone would know about it and eventually your machinations would have amounted to no more than a couple of YouTube videos of people playing "Taunt the zombie" with a dead dog on a fishing reel or something.

Two things that I'd do, then: make people used to seeing zombies in the street, and make people used to reading about a zombie invasion.

Suddenly, my shambling minions of darkness could be in the fucking greengrocers, biting your neck off and you'd only think to stop them when your innards were outtards.

Just a thought, right.

*I favour Lizard Warriors and Highly Trained Accountants