i am a pillock
Jan. 10th, 2009 04:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
deathboyWhile going through a break-up that is, at times, very emotionally intense, might I offer the following advice:
As you clean out the garage, to ease the moving to separate houses, do not - that is, do NOT:
* Rifle through old bags full of letters and such
* Recognise your ex-partner's handwriting on a page that turns out to be a love letter from her from the first year of your relationship, some 14 years ago, and read it.
* Recognise your own hand-writing on a letter that you never sent her after you both went to different ends of the country while you attended university, written at the height of your adolescent depression, in which you pour your broken wee heart out, and didn't send her because you thought it would drive her away... and read it.
ow Ow OW OW FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
yeah, just pass me that scalpel, willya? no, the rusty one...
AND, before you think I'm getting (more) whiney and sentimental, right, today, we also took car-loads of junk to the local refuse centre and I THREW AWAY A DECADE'S WORTH OF FUCKING PORNOGRAPHY recorded onto black, unmarked VHS tapes*.
So frankly, it's BEEN EMOTIONAL.
Well, actually, we got a really good day's worth of house-clearing done today, and it was relaxed and friendly and I'm glad we did it. But you know.
So, anyway, now I'm going to eat some pizza and shoot some motherfucking super-mutants in Fallout 3.
* If the youth of today still had VHS machines, it would have been customary to dump this pornographic neutron star of filth in the bushes in the local woodland, for later discovery by teenage boys, as is the lore of British men.
As you clean out the garage, to ease the moving to separate houses, do not - that is, do NOT:
* Rifle through old bags full of letters and such
* Recognise your ex-partner's handwriting on a page that turns out to be a love letter from her from the first year of your relationship, some 14 years ago, and read it.
* Recognise your own hand-writing on a letter that you never sent her after you both went to different ends of the country while you attended university, written at the height of your adolescent depression, in which you pour your broken wee heart out, and didn't send her because you thought it would drive her away... and read it.
ow Ow OW OW FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
yeah, just pass me that scalpel, willya? no, the rusty one...
AND, before you think I'm getting (more) whiney and sentimental, right, today, we also took car-loads of junk to the local refuse centre and I THREW AWAY A DECADE'S WORTH OF FUCKING PORNOGRAPHY recorded onto black, unmarked VHS tapes*.
So frankly, it's BEEN EMOTIONAL.
Well, actually, we got a really good day's worth of house-clearing done today, and it was relaxed and friendly and I'm glad we did it. But you know.
So, anyway, now I'm going to eat some pizza and shoot some motherfucking super-mutants in Fallout 3.
* If the youth of today still had VHS machines, it would have been customary to dump this pornographic neutron star of filth in the bushes in the local woodland, for later discovery by teenage boys, as is the lore of British men.
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no subject
Date: 2009-01-10 06:00 pm (UTC)Rocket Launcher. Loaded with Teddy Bears. No seriously. You can get your ammo back after you're done.
Or a stealth boy and a Deathclaw Gauntlet. Nothing says 'DIE MOTHERFUCKER' like an up close evisceration.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-11 04:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-11 05:49 am (UTC)