the media is shit #45298

And so, the mawkish canonisation of a dead gay dude begins.

It's kind of funny watching them wrestle against the fact that, as stars go, he was a relatively unremarkable, replacable boyband muppet. So, now he's being cast as a hero for being the first boyband member to come out. Except he didn't want to come out, a newspaper threatened to out him, so he collaborated, so they'd have some control over the story.

Surely the point here is that while he had any choice in it, he chose to remain in the closet? So, he's not in any way the hero they're painting him as. He was just some guy trying to keep his head down and get on with his shit. Fair play and all, but he broke no boundaries by choice.

And wait a moment, but seriously, how fucking limp is this accolade anyway? First member of a boyband to come out? I wasn't aware the categories had become so stratified... next, we'll honour the first member of a boyband (backing and choreography) to come out while wearing an orange kilt (england and northern ireland).

I look forward to being horrified at the death of North East London's first openly bisexual one-legged TV presenter (he dies in a yachting accident, btw). It was heart-breaking! He broke so many boundaries *sniff* - what a fighter! He was a symbol for young monopedal bisexuals everywhere!

Yep. Pushed gay rights forward light-years, I reckon.

Just a poon full of sugar

INTERNETS!

Help me. I cannot find Mary Poppins pornography, and this makes me sad.

I know that there's a porn star called Cherry Poppins, but she's rubbish and nothing like Mary Poppins, it's just a pun name.

I think Julie Andrews also had the occasional topless role, but that's not what I'm looking for.

Surely, somewhere, there must be some kind of porn spoof of Mary Poppins. I simply cannot be the only male in the world who grew up with that particular fantasy.

Any ideas, interwebsters and googlemonsters?

Rule 34 must not be broken!