deathboy | God's Cock

If you're making a statue of Jesus, right, and it's not wearing anything to cover its modesty, how does one go about choosing the size of the Lord's Wang?

I mean, them there Christians seem to be mighty hung up about sex, so it would be understandable that you might seek to draw attention away from the Holy Knackers, but if he was anything other than horselike, would this not be doing Our Saviour down?

Wouldst the Lord have a simple, modest dong? The Humble Cock of a Carpenter? For I mean, surely, He was Hung Like a Biggun'?

My vote goes for a massive, engorged, rock-hard, veiny super-cock on each and every jesus. After all, he's part of God, he's omniscient and omnipresent and all that, he's every bit of pornography, every brushed nipple, every pant stirring, every dirty thought that's happening in every mind, 24/7.

Frankly, I imagine that he'd have The Gush.

I mean, there's no reference to Christ's Fluffer in the bible.

Ah, man. Now I can't stop thinking about Jesus wanking. Go on, son! Crack out the Holy water!

I'm sorry that this is what I return to you all with after a busy week. I assure you that there will be music, wisdom, links and bile, but for now, and as long as I fail to dislodge it from my brain, you've got christ's turgid phallus, pulsing and bobbing ominously, like some kind of sacred meat-baton of infinite loving, poised before your eyes, ready to unleash a cascading torrent of angelic ball-juice while a choir sings 'Hosanna'.

That's something I want you to all think about for now.