God's Cock

[deathboy]

If you're making a statue of Jesus, right, and it's not wearing anything to cover its modesty, how does one go about choosing the size of the Lord's Wang?

I mean, them there Christians seem to be mighty hung up about sex, so it would be understandable that you might seek to draw attention away from the Holy Knackers, but if he was anything other than horselike, would this not be doing Our Saviour down?

Wouldst the Lord have a simple, modest dong? The Humble Cock of a Carpenter? For I mean, surely, He was Hung Like a Biggun'?

My vote goes for a massive, engorged, rock-hard, veiny super-cock on each and every jesus. After all, he's part of God, he's omniscient and omnipresent and all that, he's every bit of pornography, every brushed nipple, every pant stirring, every dirty thought that's happening in every mind, 24/7.

Frankly, I imagine that he'd have The Gush.

I mean, there's no reference to Christ's Fluffer in the bible.

Ah, man. Now I can't stop thinking about Jesus wanking. Go on, son! Crack out the Holy water!

I'm sorry that this is what I return to you all with after a busy week. I assure you that there will be music, wisdom, links and bile, but for now, and as long as I fail to dislodge it from my brain, you've got christ's turgid phallus, pulsing and bobbing ominously, like some kind of sacred meat-baton of infinite loving, poised before your eyes, ready to unleash a cascading torrent of angelic ball-juice while a choir sings 'Hosanna'.

That's something I want you to all think about for now.

Comments

[kerida-eira.livejournal.com]

Sometimes your brain is so so bad and wrong....

[deathboy.livejournal.com]

It'd be a waste not to share :)

[ysabel.livejournal.com]

You are really, truly Wrong™.

Thanks!

[alixandrea.livejournal.com]

*Cums*

Thanks for that image Scott!! ;-P

[deathboy.livejournal.com]

I live to make you hot! :D

[alixandrea.livejournal.com]

*Giggles* you do it oh so well! ;-P

[abigailb.livejournal.com]

Every time God masturbates, He kills a kitten. This leads to the question, what is His semen made of?

[edwards.livejournal.com]

Kittens. He doesn't kill it, he merely absorbs it, and outputs MORE kittens.

[feuermaus.livejournal.com]

Have you been watching Bill Hicks again? ;)

[lis0r.livejournal.com]

Surely if God encompases everything, he must in fact be some Hentai stylee shemale hermaphrodyte thing, and therefore have some sort of giant clit-o-wang?

He probably shoots laser from his nipples, too.

[purplegril.livejournal.com]

I can't finda pic to show how big the chocolate wanger is! All wangers should be made of chocolate...

[ophelia-is-dead.livejournal.com]

my morning just got exponentially better.

[badger-man.livejournal.com]

as long as its big enough to make people scream his name whilst he's putting it to good use... thats all that matters right?

[nem0.livejournal.com]

ACTUAL ACADEMIC STUDY OF THE LORD'S COCK

"Book Description
Originally published in 1983, Leo Steinberg's classic work has changed the viewing habits of a generation. After centuries of repression and censorship, the sexual component in thousands of revered icons of Christ is restored to visibility. Steinberg's evidence resides in the imagery of the overtly sexed Christ, in Infancy and again after death. Steinberg argues that the artists regarded the deliberate exposure of Christ's genitalia as an affirmation of kinship with the human condition. Christ's lifelong virginity, understood as potency under check, and the first offer of blood in the circumcision, both required acknowledgment of the genital organ. More than exercises in realism, these unabashed images underscore the crucial theological import of the Incarnation. This revised and greatly expanded edition not only adduces new visual evidence, but deepens the theological argument and engages the controversy aroused by the book's first publication."

I knew my art history education would come in handy some day.

[deathboy.livejournal.com]

Fan-fucking-tastic! :)

[quercus.livejournal.com]

Just in case there was ever any doubt,
You're going to Hull


(That's where He sends the ones He's really pissed at)

[deathboy.livejournal.com]

Bloody hell, I hope not.

[feuermaus.livejournal.com]

No, it's a joke. He sents you to Basingstoke instead... ;)

[jaketherat.livejournal.com]

"Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed."

As they say, when kneeling for communion.

I'm sure there's something in there about not letting the flesh of Christ touch your teeth as well.

[(Anonymous)]

You can't actually see it, but if you have the faith; you can CERTAINLY feel it : )

thePhil

[reddragdiva]

I'm now thinking of the coming of the Lord, the second Coming ... then the Day of Judgement.

[wev.livejournal.com]

i adore the way your mind works. i think it might be almost as interesting a place as my head. you made my morning with this post! especially after driving in, just like every day, past this statue

it never occurred to me i could be looking at a naked jeezey chrezy instead. guess i should be glad of that.

[deathboy.livejournal.com]

where the fuck is that? O_o

[wev.livejournal.com]

http://www.wreg.com/Global/story.asp?S=5112539

it's a few blocks from my work. i see it almost daily although recently i've been going home a different way since i've been working late and it's about three blocks (not real city blocks, suburb blocks) from a slightly shifty area.

the church that created this nightmare spent a metricfuckton on it. i have a friend that teaches art at an elementry school near it and the schools and community there could have used the money for something like, oh community and neighborhood improvements, child programs, painting over the gang graffitti, but i really think that the lord feels much more served by this GIANT and offensive statue that totally takes that whole freedom of religion thing and mocks it.

however, i love taking my out of town friends to see it, it's more entertaining than graceland.

[quercus.livejournal.com]

That's _not_ just PotatoShop?

...we're all screwed.

[wev.livejournal.com]

potato shop?
i'm hungry now, thanks.

oh, and the chain...at one time there was an interview running around with the leader of the World Overcummers church where he went thru what each thing symbolized...like the spikes on her crown are a different number than Lady Liberty from France's in NY. http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/05/us/05liberty.html?ex=1309752000&en=633335bb68bac96a&ei=5088 might have it, i don't know. i do that memphis is VERY racially polarized right now thanks to city leaders that encourage this kind of thing and out in cracker land there is a church that has three giant crosses. a few blocks from crazychrist lady there is a large statue of buddha in someone's front yard (garden).

[witchywillow77.livejournal.com]

Don't call me Jeezey Chrezy, Dad.

[witchywillow77.livejournal.com]

What's up with the chain?

[deathboy.livejournal.com]

She's a goth.

[wev.livejournal.com]

"In "From Slavery to Lady Liberty: Lady Liberty's African Connection: The Key to Black America's Liberation," he pointed out that the real Statue of Liberty wears a broken shackle around one ankle, and revisited evidence that the statue, a gift from France, was originally intended not to welcome immigrants but to celebrate the emancipation of slaves."
it's from the ny timeslink.



can we go back to talking about god's dangly bits now?

In Lev. 19:19...

[bishopjoey.livejournal.com]

I think the abomination is not polyester, but cotton-polyester blends: "Do not put on a garment woven with two different kinds of thread."

While those of a certain modern bent might find polyester in and of itself an abomination, on this the Lord is indifferent.

[oholiab.livejournal.com]

Did I mention that I love you?

I also vote for a big rock hard erection seeing as the christians aren't going to suddenly decide to stop being a pack of fucktards, so I vote heartily for pissing them off.

I think it's all a very good idea. What I want to know is who gets to EAT his choclatey knob afterwards.

The gush. HEEEEEEEEEE :D

[witchywillow77.livejournal.com]

Oooh! Oooh! Mr. Kotter! Mr. Kotter! *waves hand fervently*

[witchywillow77.livejournal.com]

BTW, *you* are my saviour. :D

[spookyzo.livejournal.com]

well- if jesus is gonna have a stiff one in front of the congregation- maybe they could give out donuts instead of communion wafers- they everyone could have a fun old game of hoop la! I bet loads more people would start going to church for that alone!

And regarding the linked article...

[bishopjoey.livejournal.com]

Would Dobson just kindly get fucked. In such a way that he can no longer fucking talk, if ya please.

For cod's sweet steak.

[thecunningbison.livejournal.com]

NME - Jesus as Urotsokidoji O_O

[illdrinn.livejournal.com]

I know I'm not into the god thing but I don't know why that's so offensive.

The image of Jesus wanking is a bit funny though.

[deathboy.livejournal.com]

It's offensive because I DAMNED WELL SAY SO.

Or something just as ego-centric... :)

[rubberwench.livejournal.com]

HELL.YEAH!
If.holy.communion.was.really.like.that.I'd.have.stayed.a.Catholic!

ugh.

[patient-0.livejournal.com]

Bet there'd be a lot less controversy if it had been sculpted out of WHITE chocolate.

Anyway, the Cathols should use it as a positive corporate spin:
"Jesus: now with more bioflavinoids!"

Re: ugh.

[deathboy.livejournal.com]

*laughs*

"new evidence shows that not only was jesus white, but he had a honeycomb centre"

I have often wondered

[angryangeltoo.livejournal.com]

If Angels actually exsisted what their genitalia might be like.

Re: I have often wondered

[jaketherat.livejournal.com]

I think the consensus is they don't got em!